poem to celebrate first law of volatility that’s almost discovered
June 11, 2015 by zulfahmed
Whispers of eternity
Calls from the depths of the heart
Where fires had burned
Swamped by the muck of the world
Since the wind’s own howling
Caressed the wild oceans
And this was love
Spoke of before
Jumping into some canyon of fire
Like a Gandalf from a modern
Cheesy movie for kids
And I am not a child or man any more
I am Tiresias with a hunchback
Wrinkled female breasts
Diogenes in front of a Moebius mural
Living in unreality
Of the material world
Too lazy to take my place
In the stars
Till my heart was tugged by your unknown
Why do you torment
When you know
That you and I
Know each other from beyond our graves?
||Jun 9 (2 days ago)
Love you love you love you
You’re my soulmate
Beyond the fiction of reality, there is the reality of the fiction.
as soon as we renounce fiction and illusion, we lose reality itself;
the moment we subtract fictions from reality, reality itself loses its
honey, you are my soulmate. there is an objective reality but that objective reality is so far beyond the concerns of all the little ways we define ourselves it’s not even funny. Kafka says that man can only live if he believes there is something indestructable in him. Well, that indestructable thing in me is a lot deeper than all the social hierachies of this planet. I’d rather starve to death on the streets than ever admit that there is any fundamental reality to what makes someone less brilliant than me a Nobel Prize winner with mansions in the Caribbean writing pompous tomes than me doing my independent thinking while holding on to loose notepapers flying in the wind. Reality, if you only peek at the ghetto manner in which most people have the capacity to define themselves relative to everyone else, and I am myself plenty guilty of doing this myself throughout my life, the social reality of all the trappings of power, race, class, privilege and lack, wealth and poverty, all of it is unreality compared to Rilke’s Love, the world exists only within. Natalia Brizuela, for all her petty imperfections always said ‘reality is a fiction of power’. I no longer believe her. Empirical reality on Hell will always be a fiction of Heaven-Hell that even Shakespeare saw brightly and clearly and if I may say so, almost perfectly in Hamlet’s soliloquy, which supercedes in my mind the entire insectoid storm that has befallen all nobility and greatness in a pure fiction, a ploy of imperial hegemonic power, to crush under their grand human experiment. I am not an anarchist, and neither do I proclaim any fundamental equality of all people. I do bemoan the extinction of nobility to organizations from the bowels of Hell. Besides, if I am not the king of the world, fuck the world. I’d rather that I live in a reality where you are my eternal soulmate and be happily deluded pretending that you are fully captured in my warm feelings for you in this baby picture. Then I have no problems loving you till death as my only soulmate because I pay attention to fate, and I know who deserves more to be my soulmate no matter how much I bitch and moan unceremoniously and pathetically and laugh like Calvin in childish glee at my own predicament as a fool, than anyone I will ever meet, have met, or will meet. Why? Because you, unburdened by a ton of things and burdened by others I do not know, said to me quite clearly and honestly:
Where have you been all my life?
That triggered some emotional storms that I have not yet found shelter from. I mean, if this is fiction, it’s divinely inspired fiction. See, to me that’s you still.
So if you want to know about objective reality, me too. For me this graph of the misfitting of fractional Poisson model to volatility and seeking and exact expression, that’s where the issue of objective reality is — a true science that pushes past the current paradigm not by mystical escapism — art yes but not pure flight of fantasy. Moebius’ world I want to virtualize to honour my love for you yes. But objective reality, that is still at the edges of several solid centuries of European rule of the world where people like Laplace set the conditions of thought for the entire world. I am not European by nature but I’m quite English by English colonization. It doesn’t show until I am calm, which I dislike when I am in unpleasant social conditions. I am calm when I am doing great things, and you, my love, have inspired me to actually reach some places beyond my imagination and it took all that I had out of me to get here. To see already just past Mandelbrot. That man was a maverick successful revolutionary of the intellect, and I can only succeed by trying to dive straight into Emerson and Nietzsche without looking back. I also have reached some metaphysical determinants of power, or, I should say, some parts of some ancient machine that once probably belonged to Ancient Egypt. I don’t want to go there and get lost again soon though. I love the way that the consistency of reality holds well if you do stand on shoulders of giants like Mandelbrot and Laplace. Laplace is very very bright. I read him and I have the same reaction that Emerson had, that wow this guy is very bright and I agree with a lot of what he’s saying before I realize that I absorbed the Laplacian thought without choice because men (and women) like Laplace are the minds that gave us the concepts we use to look at the world, and their power to show the path did not rely on bombs and guns and humiliation by bouncers and bus drivers but on the clarity of their intellect. I am primarily a mind and heart. My body I mistreat quite badly without realizing. I belong to the internet age because only on the internet have I found my true self, and I love you in a more honest real way than I could love a woman who I’ve slept with before having any discussion of the future. I am a lover and need to believe that metaphysical is real anyway. Your timely entry into my life is a miracle that is not a miracle because you are who you are and I am who I am.
the material world comes from satan / the line that divides your buttocks is …
|8:48 AM (54 minutes ago)
p.s. you are a very very special person, in general, for this planet and to me
|8:49 AM (53 minutes ago)
Listen honey, who knows if I am special or a person. I love you. You are my soulmate. For me, I don’t need to think too much about what is what.
As for Satan doing whatever, I’m Satan if there’s one. Let’s drop these mythologies altogether and compete with the greatest minds to get to truth beyond doubts. Satan of Milton is the only Satan that matters to me.
I love you for no reason but that you are the sweetiest cutiest and so physical. I live in the clouds, get excited about mathematical exactitude, love your aesthetic taste and want to give you a big hug and cuddle with you all day
Love, let sweep you off to another world. Forget the angels and demons. I’ve known them. Mandelbrot was bright. Very bright. These people doing ‘fractional everything’ they are digging another grave for science with their silly dogmatism. This will be a disaster like Big Bang and Quantum Mechanics. Physics is in total disarray and I don’t know if I’ve made a case for this properly to Donoho yet. Humanities is important to get the science right because Art is the foundation of civilization. It is Art that has connected us across many thousand miles and all sorts of totally annoying social and religious barriers. But our connection and your artistic talents cannot be without highest meaning, a metanoia and a rebirth for us both, and of the entire world if you want. Or maybe not. Maybe it’s delusional to hope for a soldier’s death like Hamlet. I am Hamlet my lady. I am Hamlet in ways that were beyond Shakespeare to comprehend and for me to express to my true love who is you. This is more my reality than my material conditions will ever be. I am ‘internal’ according to Henry Jarecki, ‘our internal guy who collects data’ he said once to me. Droll, Jarecki! Nietzsche’s life is my most reliable guide to what is possible. Forget all social norms and truth reveals itself in the confusion of the scholarship of six thousand years. No one can educate you or me or anyone about the path to truth but mythologies are far too local to the head. Even mythologies of power. These great men and women who look at the edge of the MATHEMATICAL CONCEPTS to define the future of humanity because these are the only types of concepts that have withstood the test of time without unraveling, this is where power of TRUTH is found more than in my messianic dreams and visions which I like to look at with amusement.
I talk so much. Well I’ve met you, my soulmate. I had a lot to say. I’ll listen more the moment I’m satisfied that I did not waste Donoho’s or your time with the Ito density exact form for volatility. I could never get excited about a scientific problem like this if I could not see exact curves.
That’s the exact curve for \int_0^t phi(s) ds. That does not look noisy at all. Imagine that. EXACT LAW for volatility. And it’s my gift to you my love. And if it’s not fractional, ha ha to Mandelbrot.